Fishing For Love

I remember when I was younger and I used to always go fishing with my granddad. We would literally sit on the banks of the river for hours fishing but really waiting for that fish that made all of those hours worth the wait.  During that time we had caught fish, but none that were worth keeping and we just threw them back into the water. Yea we had some fish already in the cooler, but none that were worth the significance of us being out there the time we had been.  

A three hour conversation that I had with a friend brought this memory back to me.  She just said that how it took her so long in life to find the perfect relationship that she’s never had before.  When she said that it hit my mind that this quest of love we travel along is a day at the river for us fishing. We will have caught some fish in our life, but we throw them back because it’s not what we want, or are looking for. The statement that said often is: There are plenty of fish in the sea. The question that I ask is that: With such a big sea, what’s the probability of all those fish equaling the validation that that one big catch gives you? I don’t think we as people realize that with it being such a big sea it takes patience to get that catch that we’ve been waiting for. Those hours that I spent on the banks with my granddad, translate to months or years that we have to wait for that big fish we want. A problem with us as humans have is that we don’t have the patience required, so we settle for a good catch, and not that catch that we know deep down inside we want. Fishing is patience game. Whether it’s fishing for actual fish, or fishing for that special someone. Sometimes it takes a short time, sometime it’s a long time, but one thing that don’t changes is that once we get that big catch, and latches on to us and we see it’s what we’ve been longing for, we gather our poles and go home happy knowing we’ve got the catch we’ve waited for. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, but there’s only one that’s going to validate the time we spent fishing and wishing……Wise words from a decent man……

Just Life

Sitting here half half sane with thoughts on my brain. Teacher speaking because in life we all think knowledge is something we obtain. Its amazing how over time, towards life, my feelings have changed. And no I'm not talking suicidal, but just seeing that life is fighting for survival. My granddady taught to keep my eyes open and head to the skies, never let them see you sweat, keep your pain in disguise, but then he went and took off to the skies. So now instead of sweat it's the tears I have flowing down from my eyes. And if these words were the lyrics to a song, there wouldnt be a chorus cause in life theres no repetition. We just win or we loss. So I just run this thing as if it was a marathon. Longevity through the grind baby, yeah I get my Kenyan on. And on my last 100 yard sprint, Im focused on the checkered flag. Knowing that finishing with success is a thing that few around me have ever had.

Conflicted

Started at a young age, taught that in life's book dont get caught on the wrong page. Reading between the lines of the hand shakes and smiles. Through my 21 years I've felt like Coffee walking that green mile. Feeling conflicted like my souls behind bars and just trying to have a free spirit. But hey, this a just a young black man whose conflicted. And I know I keep saying conflicted but it's just this world that I live in. Feel like my life is. Training Day and everyday I'm in the jungle. Watching for the snakes that hiss when I walk. Listening for the lies of the words that they talk. Where's the love that im longing for. Its been a year and love aint even knocked on my door. Had a few houses that I did visit. Trying to sale me as a guy to women who are past conflicted. We all say we want the real thing but we never accept. Shout to my college ex because I'll neva forget it. This is just my mental focus, thoughts flying through my head like a loud locust. So consider this my farewell, through confliction I know I'm heaven bond cause I've already spent my time in hell and went and shot the devil down.